Tuesday 16 July 2013

HELP!! I'm Torn between husband and chance of new love

I've met a guy on the Illicit Encounters website. I thought he’d be a casual distraction from my dreary marriage but now I’m in turmoil.
I’m 39 and my husband’s 42. We’ve been married for 18 years and have two teenage boys. My marriage has mostly been good. Our problems started after I suffered a miscarriage a few years back.
My husband was about to go for the snip and refused to back out. I went into a very dark place for a good few years. I finally pulled round, and then met this guy and thought it’d be a bit of fun with no feelings involved.
I’ve fallen for him after just a couple of weeks of messaging and meeting up. He was very intense. His wife had just left him and he did say he wanted to be single. I’ve had a few wobbles with him as he’s panicked over his feelings for me.
He says we are just friends at the moment as I’m still at home with my husband. I then told my husband that I could no longer be with him and that our marriage was over. I said I no longer loved him. He was devastated and promised to change as he’d been really awful to live with. I feel bad but I just can’t see me staying. My husband says he can’t cope without me and will default on the mortgage.
He’s also threatened to top himself. I know I need to leave but why don’t I feel like I can leave now? I knew I could before my husband said he’d change. I can’t see myself growing old with him.
I’m constantly going round in a circle of “Do I, don’t I?” I’m working full-time and also attend a night class. It’s all getting too much. I know the answer but I don’t know why I’m stopping myself.
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